Boys, anxiety, depression?

Help!! Why is it that I've wanted a proper, real boyfriend for so long, someone that likes me for who I am and we can chat for hours, and now that I have that it's just not making me feel any better.
Idk if it's just me, or just this relationship but it doesn't feel all butterflies and crazy happiness that books and movies make it up to. (I'm guilty of watching HUNDREDS of good old romantic chick-flicks).

When I'm with him I'm happy, we laugh and kiss and talk but for some reason I almost dread going to see him.

I have anxiety, not in a awful way where it controls my life but it certainly stops me from doing somethings or going out places with friends. And I'm wondering if my not feeling totally amazing around this boy is part of that. Maybe I'm anxious about it making me dread it because I know I'll be anxious? Ahhhh, the human mind confuses me.

We've been learning all about mental health recently because I am taking psychology and so I know all the signs and symptoms. I knew prior to learning all about it that I definitely have some sort of anxiety, I don't have panic attacks but sometimes it spikes enough that it makes me sick or makes me have to cancel plans that I'd been looking forward to for ages.

But after learning all about depression I feel as if I may have a small problem with that. I'm finding myself wanting to go home more than going out with friends but once I'm at home I feel sad, boring.

I don't know if it's my head turning itself into knots and I'm making it into something it's not or maybe everyone goes through this and I just don't know but I just don't know what to do about it and how to think.

Please let me know if you feel the same way, or have ever felt like this!

Thanks for reading, TT :)


  1. I have acute anxiety (similar to yours) and I can relate to a lot of what you say. However, I don't think it's the cause of your relationship problems. Sometimes a relationship doesn't need butterflies, hearts and roses to be romantic. At the beginning you'll feel a spark, but just like with any fire, after a while the sparks don't fly and the flames don't jump. The main purpose of love is to feel that warmth inside of you. Love is meant to be comfortable and peaceful, not a constant adventure. For me, a relationship is based on marriage. If you can say confidently that he's the one for you, and that he has the traits you want in a husband, partner and father, then the relationship is just perfect. If marriage and a family just doesn't seem to be part of the equation, then chances are you're holding onto something that isn't infinite or real. Email me if you want to chat xoxo


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